Garon's Royal Harem 2: Salt Squad
by KingOfAllCondos
Summary: If GaRoN's RoYaL hArEm Is So GoOd WhY iSn'T tHeRe A gArOn'S rOyAl HaReM tWo? I swear i'll get back to this someday. Eventually.
1. Part 1, Chapter 1

_Read the prequel at /_ _s/12736450/1/Garon-s-Royal-Harem_

 **Part One: Salt Squad**

 **Chapter 1**

It had been 2 months since Chrom had been added to Sma5h. Fortunately, Garfield realized Natsuki is too short to actually be a threat (ha gottem) and the whole thing was blown out of proportion (get it, because Natsuki is short), so the Diet Coke threat died down by itself. But as long as there was life, there was salt, and boy were some people salty. Princess Zelda (the one in Sma5h) was salty that her other, Twilight Princess-esque self was clearly being built up to become a main character in the last story and then just got cut out, and because Yoshi got back into Sma5h even though he'd committed tax fraud. The silver-haired maiden of the court, Nyaruko-slam, was salty because Lucina had shot her, and because Yoshi got back into Sma5h even though he committed tax fraud. That super cool inkling Sue Percool was salty not just because in her last tower control match she was up against two Clash Blasters, not just because someone on her team disconnected putting them at a disadvantage, but also because Yoshi got back into Sma5h even though he'd committed tax fraud. Even Pichu, a being normally too pure to feel emotions as negative as salt, was salty because Yoshi got back into Sma5h even though he'd committed tax fraud. Almost as if it was coincidence and definitely not so the plot can advance, the four of them ran into each other at Coconut Mall West, the new Coconut Mall branch in Smash City. As if this was a completely normal conversation topic, Zelda abruptly asked them, "hey, are you guys salty Yoshi got back in too?"

"Actually, yes," Sue woomy'd. "It's completely unfair that filthy criminals like him not only get to walk free, but even get rewarded for it."

"Oh, absolutely. I bet he's just trying to compensate for his inability to play B-Ball," Nyaruko-slam groaned.

"Pichu!" pichu'd Pichu, as he is a Pichu so he probably can't speak English.

So, the four of them logically decided to form a new group: the Salt Squad, united in their salt over Yoshi's return. Thus, they set out to the food court (as opposed to Arena Ferox-I mean, the basketball court) to order some Auntie Anne's Pretzels, as pretzels are salty and the Salt Squad was salty too. Unfortunately for them, Pyra was placing a very large order, so they had to wait in line. When Pyra finally finished ordering, she turned around, seeing the new gang. "Oh, hey Sue!" she cheerfully spoke.

"'Sup?" Sue responded. "You salty about Yoshi returning too?"

"I don't know about salty _,_ but I'll admit it _is_ kind of unfair."

"Good enough for me. Catch ya later!"

"Kbai" With that, Pyra walked away and ate her 4000 calorie order. With that, they were now at the front of the line.

Zelda stepped up first, holding out two fingers. "Two pretzels, please. With extra salt."

"Extra salt?" asked the cashier.

" _Extra salt_ ," Zelda repeated bluntly.

"...oh."

Sue stepped up next. "Can I get uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh pretzel nuggets, extra salt."

"What the frick."

Nyaruko-slam, ever so rude, demanded, "Yo, gimme a pretzel. I think ya can guess how I want it."

"Pichu pi!" Pichu pichu'd, jumping in an attempt to make himself seen.

"I think he's asking for cinnamon pretzel nuggets, but with salt added," Zelda explained.

"He...he what?"

"Add. Salt."

"Um…. okay? That'll be...ummm….$11.67? I'm not sure why you want so much salt. Honestly, I think giving this much is a health code violation."

"Give. Us. The. Salt." Sue woomy'd, glaring.

"Yes here is your salty food please don't hurt me," the cashier whimpered.

Sitting down, the Salt Squad began eating their extra salty food. Feeling dehydrated from all the salt, Sue went back up to the register to order drinks. "Four Dr. Peppers, please."

"A-add salt?"

"What? Who adds salt to their Dr. Pepper?"

"Umm...okay."

So, Sue came back with their drinks. Even Nyaruko-slam had joined the superior side of Dr. Pepper, and the crew drank. When they were done, they got up. "Alright, gang, what should we do now?" asked Zelda.

"Hmm," Sue pondered. "Uhhhhhhhh go to Saffron City?"

"Yeah, sure."

So, they left for Saffron City.


	2. Part 1, Chapter 2

Arriving in Saffron City, the gang decided to visit the city's Poke Mart. Pichu demanded that Nyaruko-slam buy him a bag of Oran Berries, but the Poke Mart didn't sell Oran Berries, so tough luck, Pichu. You didn't even show up in the prequel. There wasn't actually much to do in Saffron City, though, so they decided to go to the nearby Vermillion City. Once there, they decided to examine the sea creatures in the harbor, although Sue stood back as she is an Inkling, which means, much like the rest of her species, she is allergic to water for some reason. As the group gazed, they saw many Magikarp and Tentacool….and that was it.

That was, until a mysterious fish floated out of the water and turned toward the Salt Squad. "Wh-what is that!?" Pichu stammered in fear, even though as a Pichu he should not be able to speak English because Pokemon cannot speak English outside of very specific circumstances such as Team Rocket's Meowth. To everyone's shock and horror, the fish opened its mouth.

"The wahoo (Acanthocybium solandri) is a scombrid fish found worldwide in tropical and subtropical seas. It is best known to sports fishermen, as its speed and high-quality flesh make it a prize game fish. In Hawaii, the wahoo is known as ono."

Sue almost fainted, but Zelda was curious now. "How can you speak?" she asked.

But the wahoo did not answer her question. "The wahoo may be distinguished from the related Atlantic king mackerel and from the Indo-Pacific narrow-barred Spanish mackerel by a fold of skin which covers the mandible when its mouth is closed. In contrast, the mandible of the king mackerel is always visible as is also the case for the smaller Spanish mackerel and Cero mackerel. The teeth of the wahoo are similar to those of king mackerel, but shorter and more closely set together."

Somehow, Zelda was able to acquire knowledge from this. "So, you're able to speak, as well as breathe air and float, through the power of friendship?"

The wahoo nodded, and began to air-swim toward the group, as if trying to establish a new link of friendship. However, Nyaruko-slam began to panic. You see, Nyaruko-slam was VERY allergic to wahoos. The wahoo came too close for her immune system to resist, and within seconds she was dead. The rest of the Salt Squad turned toward her corpse in horror, then looked at the wahoo, then back to Nyaruko-slam. Moments later, they all ran away as fast as they could.

An indeterminate amount of time later, they had finally made it back to Saffron City. Sue turned toward Zelda and Pichu. "Holy frick, we gotta get out of here!" she spoke through shallow breaths.

Between her own breaths, Zelda questioned, "But how?"

Pichu suddenly perked up and cheered, "Pichu pi!" With that, he ran away, prompting Zelda and Sue to follow him. After catching up, they saw that Pichu had led them to a train station.

"Good idea, Pichu," Zelda complimented. "Let's just ride this...wherever it takes us?"

The Salt Squad got on the train, which turned out to be crowded with not just Miis, but also actual people. As the group sat, they overheard conversation amongst the other passengers. "Did you hear? Yoshi himself will be giving a presentation tonight in Ecruteak City!"

"Wow, Yoshi? I can't believe someone as prestigious as him would visit our little ol' Johto? Wonder what he'll be presenting on?"

Sue glared. "Hear that, guys? Yoshi's gonna be in Ecruteak City tonight."

"Well, yes," Zelda answered, "but where is this Ecruteak City?"

"GOOD point."

Fortunately, Pichu somehow knew where Ecruteak City was, and using his Pichu Senses, informed the two girls how to get there from where they were getting off.

"Oh, we're getting off at Goldenrod City? I think I've heard of that," Zelda commented. And just in time, for at that moment, the train came to a stop, and passengers began getting out.

However, not much time had passed from the Salt Squad getting off the train before another event occurred-that is, Zelda tripped on her dress, and fell to the ground. "Hylia dammit!" she shouted at no one in particular, but Sue extended a hand and pulled Zelda back up. "Thanks." With that, they walked outside.

"Okay. So to get to Ecruteak City, we just keep going north until the park, then go east and just keep following the path, yes?" Sue asked again, to confirm the directions.

"Yes, that sou-"

Before Zelda could finish responding, Sue shoved her back just in time to avoid a sword's slash. "Umu! I am impressed that you avoided my strike, squid kid!" proclaimed the assailant. A shower of petals appeared, and when they fell to the ground, a blonde woman in a red dress stood there. "Umu! I am Nero Claudius, Saber class servant!"

Sue looked confused. "Hold on. Servant? I thought Fate characters weren't allowed in these stories."

"Imperial privilege allows me to bypass this restriction," Nero informed the group.

"Uh….imperial privilege?" asked Zelda. "Sounds pretty bullcrap, like some mega deus ex machina." But suddenly, Nero was nowhere to be seen. That was, until Zelda felt the cold steel of Nero's blade pressed against the back of her neck. "H-how!?" she gasped.

Nero laughed. "*umus behind you* Imperial privilege is superior, kid." With that, Nero slashed again. Fortunately, Zelda cast Nayru's Love in an almost impossibly fast time to protect herself, and then warped forward, creating distance, followed up with Din's Fire to damage this new enemy.

"This is crazy," Sue complained as she performed the defeat animation inklings do when they lose a match with a blaster. "Pichu, get her."

Pichu jumped forward while Nero was still readjusting her position after her swing, releasing a shock of electricity. As he was a Pichu and not Pikachu, he ended up hurting himself in the process. Zelda's and Pichu's attacks made direct contact with Nero, and the servant jumped back. "Umu! You may have landed a blow on me, but this is not the end! I bid you farewell for now, but be prepared for next time!" With another storm of rose petals, Nero was gone.

"...What just happened? Anyway, we need to get to Ecruteak," Sue spoke. After that honestly unnecessary interruption, the group headed to their destination.


	3. Part 1, Chapter 3

Finally arriving in Ecruteak City, the group looked for where to go. Unsure, Sue tapped someone's shoulder. "Excuse me, could you direct us to where Yoshi will be presenting?" she asked.

"Ah, yes. He'll be presenting in the theater, over on the corner of 2nd Street and Bark Street."

"Thank you," Sue woomy'd, and the group headed there. Scowling, they took their seats. And just in time, for at that moment, Yoshi stepped onto the stage.

"Hello, everyone. Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk tonight. I won't bother with some silly introduction, so let's just get right into it. Yoshisaur Munchakoopas is my name, and imma tell you how I beat the IRS at their own game. I lied on my tax forms cause I just don't give a fuck, now I'm practically swimming around in big bucks. I got 12 million dollars in my attic undeclared and I got another million more right under my stairs. I do my business deals under cover of the night so I can hide the cash away from Uncle Sam without a fight. I take advantage of every loophole, even ones that don't apply; it's been 20 years, still haven't been caught in a lie. I claimed Baby Mario as a dependent though he ain't my kid and made up charity work I never even did. I must have cheated on my tax forms at least a hundred times. So many clever tricks, I can't fit them all into rhymes. Yoshi is my name, money laundering is my game, and committing tax fraud is worth every single dime. I'm a tax dodging badass, I don't play by the rules. I make the government look like a bunch of damn fools; I keep 99 cents of every dollar that I make. Nothing makes me cum faster than a good old tax break. I hate paying taxes if there's anything I hate. I supported Ron Paul back in 2008. You might think it's unfair that I don't have to pay, but it's okay, because taxation is theft anyway. Word to your mother. Peace out, yo."

With that, the audience stood up and burst into applause. "I see," Zelda muttered, a look of contemplation on her face. "So that's how he does it."

"Pi chu…" Pichu angrily pichu'd.

"It's alright, Pichu. We'll make Yoshi pay," Sue reassured. "Not just in a vigilante justice sense, but also in an actual monetary sense. He will pay back all of those tax dollars he owes. Also, his speech took our one and only use of the f bomb we can have without raising the age rating, which I wanted to use later."

The Salt Squad tried to sneak into the back to confront Yoshi, but unfortunately they were caught by the security guards, who threw them out of the building. "Well darn," Zelda complained. "We were so close to catching him."

"I agree, Zelda, but unfortunately we can't end the story this early. Yoshi has to be able to go about his business for the sake of having content," Sue explained.

"Hold up Sue, stop being so meta."

Meanwhile, in New Ylisstol (which was right by Smash City, for the sake of convenience) Chrom and Garon were watching romantic movies while drinking Dr. Peppers again. This time, they were watching The Fault In Our Stars. In the room as well was Lucina, who was tapping her foot impatiently. "Father, you've been watching movies for nine hours now. When's it my turn?" she complained.

Chrom paused the movie and turned to her. "Lucina, hold your horses. Garon and I are mending our relationship now that I'm a Smasher. I promise you can pick the next movie."

Lucina sighed. "...Fine…"

But the moment Chromaron's movie ended, Lucina snatched the remote and began playing Passion of the Christ. "Father, why can't you watch movies more like this? I don't think you love Jesus enough."

"This again? Lucina. We're Ylisseans. Ylissean royalty, at that. We're strictly a Naga-worshipping family."

"YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS OF MY DEVOTION TO HIM!" Lucina screamed through tears, now an emotional wreck from Chrom's religious attack. "YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!"

"Lucina, calm down. Your father didn't mean what he said. Right, darling?" Garon reassured the future heir.

"No, Garon. I'm sorry. Lucina needs to learn that as a princess, she has a legacy to uphold," Chrom scolded.

"GO TO HECK, FATHER! I WILL ALWAYS LOVE JESUS!" Lucina yelled. Suddenly, she jumped out of the window and ran away, shattering the glass in the process.

"Gods, why…" Chrom moaned, as he went to change the movie back. But he couldn't find the remote. "...Garon, did you take the remote?"

"No, love, I thought you did."

The remote was nowhere to be found.


	4. Part 1, Chapter 4

Outside of the theater, the Salt Squad pondered what to do next. "Any ideas?" Sue asked after a while.

"Well, we obviously need to get out of here," Zelda answered. "But how…?"

They thought on it, until Sue had an idea. "Pichu, can you show us the way to Poke Floats?"

Pichu perked up, and began running, forcing Zelda and Sue to follow him once more. After about 20 minutes, they reached the entrance to the Poke Floats. Shoving everyone in line out of the way, a process that also resulted in someone shouting "I am NOT really feeling it!" the Salt Squad jumped onto a float, and sailed away. "Alright, guys. We've just gotta wait until a Stage Morph happens, then figure out where to go from there."

So, they waited, jumping from float to float in the meantime so they wouldn't be KO'd. Soon enough, Poke Floats morphed to Moray Towers. "Oh, hey, I actually know this place," Sue announced. "Yep, I can get us back to Smash City from here." So, they exited Moray Towers and began walking out of Inkopolis. But before they could leave the lobby, a voice made them halt.

"Sue Percool, ally of Garfield." None other than Peppa Pig stepped out of the shadows. " I have been waiting for you and your new friends." Without another word, the assassin drew her blade, which for some reason was big enough to rival Sephiroth's even though Peppa Pig is, well, a bipedal pig. Pointing it at the Salt Squad, everyone involved assumed a battle stance. But before anyone attacked, Zelda paused.

"Hey guys, isn't it kinda weird that even though this is a Garon's Royal Harem story, nobody's used a Stand yet?" she questioned.

"ZELDA NO YOU'LL JINX IT!" Sue shouted. But it was too late-Stands had been mentioned, so now they must appear. Peppa Pig placed a hand in front of her piggy face, and summoned a ghostly figure.

"Behold my *snort* my [DEATH GRIPS], weaklings," Peppa declared, and the figure fired a beam of darkness, which Zelda deflected just in time. "Ah. I see you know more than those other fools, able to counter my *snort* my projectiles. But are you any match for my glorious one-thousand-times folded Nippon steel blade?" Almost impossibly fast, Peppa Pig lunged forwards, thrusting at Zelda. Zelda tried to teleport, but her startup lag prevented her from escaping in time. Ouch.

Sue pulled out an Aerospray and began firing wildly, some shots landing and others missing. Peppa Pig turned around and began advancing, when everyone heard a loud, muffled, continuous noise. Pichu seized the opportunity and ftilted Peppa Pig, which tripped her because Pichu's ftilt trips now for some reason. At the same time, a limo burst through the lobby wall and screeched to a halt and the driver window rolled down, incredibly loud Eminem music playing. Princess Peach, wearing a pair of Ray Bans (no this isn't product placement shut up), leaned out and gestured. "Get in, bitches," she instructed. The Salt Squad nodded, and jumped in the back seats. Peach threw the vehicle into reverse, and sped out of the building.

Driving away, Peach cranked the volume up even more. Zelda tried asking her to turn it down a bit, but she was drowned out by Eminem complaining about the FCC, and he wasn't even complaining about Ajit Pai's net neutrality plans that are totally still relevant these days. Eventually getting fed up, she teleported into shotgun. Peach turned to the other princess and cheerfully shouted, "hey girl!"

Zelda shouted back, "Peach, what the FRICK are you doing!?"

"Uhhhhh, rescuing you guys? You gotta get back to Smash City, don't you?"

"Ye-wait, how'd you know that?"

"Doesn't matter. But know this: I'm salty about Yoshi getting back in too. For this rescue, I want in on the Salt Squad."

"Yeah, sure. Ask Sue later, but I'm sure you're fine."

"Great!" Before their conversation continued, the road of Inkopolis they were on stage morphed into Mario Circuit. "Even better." Peach floored the gas, and the limo sped up.

"Uh, Peach, shouldn't you be a bit more carefu-" At that moment, the limo almost went airborne briefly, following a THUD. "Oh Hylia. Peach, what was that?"

"Pssh. Doesn't matter."

Sue stuck her head in. "Um, we just ran over a Shy Guy."

Zelda slapped Peach. "Peach, WHAT THE FRICK?"

Peach sighed. "Oh, please. This is the Mario Circuit stage, the Shy Guys are just stage hazards. What happens to them doesn't matter."

"Peach, I don't think that's how it works."

Peach simply shrugged and drove away. "Peach, you need to slow down!" Zelda and Sue both warned.

"It's ride or die, bitches," was Peach's only response, as the CSI Miami "yeah" could be heard stage-wide.

Fortunately, Peach soon screeched to a stop, but the force threw Pichu out of his seat all the way to the very back of the vehicle. "Gg no re," Peach muttered. Stepping out of the vehicle, the Salt Squad saw where they were-the Smash Hotel! "Sweet. Let's go swimming, girls," Peach declared. So, everyone walked to their rooms to change into swimsuits, then went to the pool. Obviously, Sue was hesitant as inklings are allergic to water, but she went with them anyway because of the power of peer pressure.

Peach and Zelda immediately decided to have a splashing fight. Pichu wanted in, but he was afraid of electrocuting them by zapping the water (understandable, Pichu, have a nice day). Zelda splashed Peach with a large amount of water, but just then, two not-so-mysterious silhouetted figures and a silhouetted sheet of paper or something appeared, one holding a bowl of something, and a familiar voice suddenly called out to the Salt Squad.

"Prepare for slamming!"

"And make it jamming!"

"To protect the court from devastation!"

"To unite all ballers within our nation!"

"To announce the skill in half-court shots!"

"This isn't product placement for Dippin Dots!"

"Nyaruko-slam!"

"Also Nyaruko-slam!"

"Team Space Jam blast off at the speed of light!"

"Grab a B-Ball and prepare to fight!"

"Slam jam that's right!"

Sue looked wherever the camera would be if this was an episode of The Office, shrugged her shoulders, and sighed. "This is getting out of hand. Now there are two of them!"

Peach balled up a fist. "Nyaruko-slam! What're you doing here!?"

"Isn't it obvious?" Nyaruko-slam I cackled. "We're here for Pichu!"

"That pokemon may be small, but he sure does have talent for some b-ball!" Nyaruko-slam II explained.

"Pichu? But...he's Pichu. His limbs are all stubs. How can you play basketball with stubs?" Zelda asked.

"Come on and slam! And welcome to the jam!" chanted the Nyaruko-slam poster, as it slowly floated around in the breeze.

"Umm….frick you it doesn't matter. We're gonna take that Pichu!" With that, the Nyaruko-slams jumped down from the balcony, Nyaruko-slam I using her [HOOPS] to summon a void basketball in the process. But she didn't stick the landing, and slumped over as her ankles shattered from the impact. "Oh frick!" she shouted in pain, but the Salt Squad wasn't gonna blow their chance. Sue threw a splat bomb, and it blew up in Nyaruko-slam I's face, covering her in green ink. "My eyes!" she shouted.

"Sis!" shouted Nyaruko-slam II, turning angrily toward that super cool inkling. "You'll pay for that! [WII SPORTS THEME]!"

Sue gasped. "W-Wii Sports Theme? Is it even possible for a mortal to have that powerful a Stand?"

An unknown voice called out, "It doesn't matter if a mortal can have such a powerful Stand. Because the existence of a second Nyaruko-slam...is not something I consent to!"

Everyone, the Nyaruko-slams included, looked around for this voice's source, only to be met with the sound of something soaring through the air, as a bullet came down and pierced Nyaruko-slam II. "W-what…? W-why…?" Nyaruko-slam II stuttered, as she slumped to the floor, dead. With that, the assailant jumped down from a higher floor balcony, cannonballing into the pool so as not to injure themself like Nyaruko-slam I did. Soon enough, they crawled out of the pool-it was Lucina!

"This is getting back in hand. Now there's one of them!" Sue commented.

"Nyaruko-slam, my sworn enemy! Two of you is too many Nyaruko-slams for this story, something I'm sure even The Editor would agree with!" Lucina shouted.

"B-but Lucina, you're supposed to not be a main character in this story! What right do you have to do this?"

"It doesn't matter. One of you is gone, my work here is done. Goodbye!" With that, Lucina fled, hopefully never to be seen again, although both The Author and the readers knew that would never actually be the case. Sorry.

"Um….anyway. Salt Squad! Come on and slam, and welcome to the jam!" Nyaruko-slam groaned out, clearly still in pain.

"Uh, we're good," Zelda responded. "Sue, Pichu, let's go."

"Wait, what about me?" Peach asked.

"Stay here. We need someone to watch over Nyaruko-slam until she dies," Sue answered as fast as possible.

"Oh...okay."

So, the Salt Squad, all secretly fearful of Peach's blatant psychopathy, left. Fortunately for Peach and unfortunately for the Salt Squad, the pool's gutter began shaking, and soon none other than the magic wahoo fish burst out. "Wahoo tend to be solitary or occur in loose-knit groups of two or three fish. Where conditions are suitable, they can be found in schools as large as 100 or more."

"G-get it away from me. Get it away!" Nyaruko-slam begged. But Peach was merciless toward the silver-haired maiden of the court, and frolicked outside, while Nyaruko-slam's horrified screams could be heard in the distance. But when she reached the outside, the Salt Squad was gone.


	5. Part 1, Chapter 5

"...What just happened?" Sue slowly asked.

"Pi chu…" Pichu whined, upset that he didn't get any Dippin Dots and not about that wild ride of emotion that was the last chapter. Unfortunately for Pichu, he won't be able to get any Dippin Dots until Part 3 or something.

Sue saw that last detail and sighed. "This is so sad marina play ebb and flow." Despite not physically being there, Off the Hook did indeed play Ebb and Flow as Sue was actually SplatNet Live'ing them.

"Sue, Pichu, come on. We need to go somewhere else," Zelda urged.

"Yeah, yeah. But where?" Sue responded, knowing Peach was too much of a threat.

Zelda paused, then had an idea. "I know this'll sound crazy...but let's go back to Johto."

"No. That arc can't happen until at least part 3, maybe part 2 if we really need material then. Maybe Pichu can even get his Dippin Dots there."

"Huh. I see. Wait what the fri-"

"Why not come to Inkopolis?" Marina suggested.

"Now that's a good idea," Sue stated.

"I guess," Zelda relented. Then, she paused. "Wait but we were just there before Peach got us."

"...Oh yeah," Sue slowly realized. "...Hey, Pearl and Marina? You guys got any leads on where Yoshi might be?"

"Not the green Yoshi, no," Pearl answered.

"Green Yoshi? Are you saying there's actually multiple Yoshis?" Zelda asked. "As opposed to the others just being alternate color schemes for the same one?"

"Well, technically yes, technically no," Marina answered. "Yes, there's more Yoshis, but they're all identical besides their colors. Yoshis are a hive mind, so while we don't know where the green Yoshi is, the leader, you could always look for other Yoshis. Try checking Yoshi's Island? There's bound to be Yoshis there."

"Will do," Sue spoke. "Gang, we're going to Yoshi's Island."


	6. Part 2, Chapter 1

**Part 2: The Gang Goes To Yoshi's Island**

 **Chapter 1**

"So, how are we going to get there?" Zelda asked.

Pichu jumped up and down, trying to get the humanoids' attention. "Pichu pi!" Unfortunately, they ignored him.

"Well, it's an island, so we're gonna need either a boat or a plane," Sue answered Zelda. "Normally I'd prefer a plane, but in this case I think a boat is better."

"And where do you propose we get a boat? _Someone_ didn't want to go back to Johto, so the S.S. Anne isn't an option," Zelda snapped.

"Yeah, well uh….shut. Hey, Toon Link's got a boat. Let's borrow his."

"Pichu…."

"Well, _fine_. Let's just _yeet_ ourselves on over to Toon Link's, why don't we?"

So, they yeeted on over to Toon Link's, even though that's back at the Smash Hotel where Peach was. Once they reached Toon Link's room, whose door was made of metal instead of wood for some reason, Zelda began furiously knocking on the door, followed by Sue fricking shooting it for some reason.

Toon Link soon shouted out, "what the FRICK is going on?"

Zelda, still knocking while Sue continued firing, bluntly stated, "open up the door, it's Real, with the non-stop pop-pop of stainless steel."

Sue paused. "Wait. 'It's Real'? You call yourself Real?"

"Yeah, but you can't know why yet. But trust me, it'll come up again later….probably."

"Um… okay then."

Slowly, Toon Link opened the door, and Zelda rushed inside, Sue and Pichu following after her. Inside sat the Zelda from Brawl and 4. "Wait, what's she doing here?" both Zeldas asked, pointing at each other.

"Well, uh, we need to ask Toon Link something," the Ultimate Zelda stated.

"Huh. I was just here asking him something, too," the Brawl Zelda responded. "I needed to know if I can borrow his train. What were you gonna ask him?"

"We actually need to borrow his boat. Hey, Toon Link, can we borrow your boat?"

Toon Link, now back to having a regular Link's vocabulary, merely responded with "Yaaaaah," which the Salt Squad correctly interpreted as a "sure, why not?"

"Thanks, Toon Link!" Sue exclaimed, as the three of them ran out of the room and down to the marina.

There, they began wandering the docks, looking for the boat. "Hey, Zelda, what kind of boat does Toon Link have, anyway?" Sue asked, Pichu now riding on top of her head.

"Weeeeeeeeeeeell….you'll see soon enough," Zelda answered.

Soon, they reached a small, red boat. "Here it is, the King of Red Lions," Zelda spoke, giving a fancy gesture toward an admittedly rather disappointing boat.

"...This boat sucks," Sue muttered. Then, she looked to the horizon, and another boat was pulling back into the marina, fast. Sue looked at it, and then her eyes widened. "I know that boat!"

The boat, which had "Manta Maria" printed on the side, slowed down to a stop, pulling into the spot next to the King of Red Lions. A midget inkling jumped out, followed by a taller one with a really funky hairdo. "Hello there!" the midget spoke, addressing Sue.

"General MC Princess!" Sue responded. "And DJ Hyperfresh, too, I see! What are you two doing here?"

"Well, you never actually stopped SplatNet Live'ing us, so we heard that you needed a boat. So we're here to help you!" Marina added.

"Aw, booyah! Wait, were you two planning on becoming main characters? You know if we get too many, The Author will have trouble writing, and The Editor will get mad…"

"Oh, no….Well, I guess that's okay. We can just be main characters for this part and then drop out, yeah?" Pearl slowly asked.

"Perhaps," Zelda answered, which was good enough for Pearl and Marina. So, everyone boarded the Manta Maria, and departed for Yoshi's Island.


End file.
